The Eleventh Little Indian Boy

Friday, May 24, 2002:

I wish that I could fly....fall upon my knees....find a way to lie....about a home I'll never see....It may sound absurd.....but don't be naive........yada yada yada....even heros have the right to dream....sigh....what a week: 3 more years till Star Wars Episode III: So I married a Lightsaber Murderer.....more about the ultimate clone experience to come, Whole foods closes at 9? / Ichiro can make it from home to first in 3.7 seconds? / my my.....Christy Turlington still looks like a million bucks, Hiking with the small group / every time I start to take my surroundings for granted......nature always provides a reminder of how beautiful and intricate things are in the grandest of ways / Kitaro for the second time this week / Sake Sake Sake.....the protein, Finally finished the first draft of the catalog at work, migranes still suck, long weekend here I come!!!, Houston's Hawaiian grilled ribeye.....best two and a half hour dinner I've ever had.......easy on the cookies WC......haha!!

I finally got to check out the latest Star Wars installment with a bunch of other lumpers a few days back. As an avid (not rabid like some guys I know .....no need to mention names right?) fan of the intergalactic series, I was left feeling both blown away and somewhat slighted after the movie had ended. Here are the first and only impressions about it all from a part-time Jedi who probably would have been one of the first ones to get wounded during the Geonosis conflict........

Things about the movie that were appealing:

1.) Yoda taking care of business....man, I think that I held my breath throughout that entire sequence. My inner child was surprisingly awakened and amused by the intensity of the choreography that was displayed. Question to master DS....exactly what race is Yoda?
Or is he known just as a Yoda?

2.) Natalie Portman as Padme Amidala......costumes, makeup, hair, lighting, DLP format......there were countless reasons as to why her presence in the movie made it more enjoyable, but in the end it all fell down to this......She was looking GOOD!!!

3.) Ewan McGregor as OBW Kenobi....perhaps the wittiest and most cleverly written character in the movie. It could have been the British accent that caught my attention....but he was a sure Oscar to Anakin's ever so annoying Felix as the story progressed.

4.) All the SFX and battle scenes. As a kid growing up during the Lucas era, you would often find yourself day dreaming about lightsabers, Jedis, starships, and aliens at one point or another. Somehow the scenarios that you envisioned in your head always seemed to morph whatever you digested in the movies into fantasies of larger proportions. The eye candy that was offered during this movie kept me glued to my seat, but it was the climatic battle in the end that really seemed to take the cake. It was kind of like Braveheart, Gladiator, and Black Hawk Down all rolled up into one. Simply put.... one of the best 10+ minutes of video fighting that I have ever seen.

5.) How beautiful and interesting the times really were despite all that was going on. I mean....look at how developed and structured the planet of Coruscant really was. Can you imagine camping out in the forests of Naboo? What were their museums and libraries like ( Egad! Those archives were huge!!)? How vast were the materials and techiniques that the architects used to build all that stuff? What was society's view on interracial marriage? Ok.....you have to draw the line between reality and fantasy somewhere...haha....but it would be facinating to find out just how much life in the Star Wars universe may parallel that of our own. You know? Nevermind.

Reasons that make me want to get my nine dollars back:

1.) It was neat to see the courtship and evolution of Anakin and Padme, but the whole love story intitiative seemed rushed and badly writtten right from the start. Throughout much of the film I found myself constantly thinking stuff like.....Alright man, he likes her.....ok....I get it....Stop throwing yourself at her already.....have some self respect.......The boy just contrasted your backside with the texture of sand......slap his hand away and slice up that cheese!!

2.) Jar Jar binks as a senator. I can't believe the fate of the universe came down to the opinion of this intergalactic "hanger on". Talk about significance due to association. If he makes it through the next episode unscathed, then I'm really going to be disappointed.

3.)Count Dooku as the main adversary/evil archenemy in the end? Come on. This guy looked like he was in his late 60's. His lightsaber had the handle of a cane. And what kind of name is Count Dooku exactly? Was he some kind of alien vampire? Do you think that he knows Count Chocula? Bottom line: dude was a chump.

4.) Jango Fett and Boba Fett....It seems like the writers spent the majority of the film building up Jango as the prototypical tough guy. Feared bounty hunter and assassin with every conceivable weapon at his disposal. Then, in a matter of a few minutes he was mauled by a horned bear/bull creature and beheaded by Mace Windu. Samuel L. Jackson didn't even talk any trash...what's up with that? Boba Fett was just an ugly little annoying kid with a bad haircut. He seemed like a thug in the making who probably mastered anywhere between 10 to 25 words of the english language. I would have liked to see him disposed of, but I guess he's too important of a character in the later episodes for that to have happened. Someone has to get clowned in Return of the Jedi and fall into the pit on Tatooine anyways.

5.) Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker....this guy could have been a younger version of Derek Zoolander. He was just this whiny, self absorbed, love sick little monstrosity that was pleasant to look at throughout the movie. BAD acting. One of the few parts that I found interesting was when he flipped out and wasted a bunch of sand people ( Instumental from a character development point of view ). It wasn't until then that we were really introduced to the agony and destructive potential that had been dormant inside of him. For about 10-15 minutes I was amazed to see how this guy could eventually become Darth Vader one day.....then he regressed back into form and I hunched into my seat and waited for the lightsabers again.

Overall diagnosis: This film is a must see. Only because it is part of a series that is a dynasty. A cult classic/definition of a generation type as some would say. Lucas is certainly sitting on a golden egg. I think that he knows this too. He would have to screw up pretty badly to turn viewers away from any future episodes and seems content with constantly getting by with C level finishes to his movies. Has he even done anything outside of Star Wars in the last 20 years? I'll probably be eager to see Episode III once it comes out in a few years. But the anticipatory feelings that I had after the Phantom Menace are glaringly absent. One day I will tire of beautiful people and great SFX onscreen. Until that day.....I can' t believe that I have to wait another 3 years till Episode III comes out!!!




LIB // 10:54 PM

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Monday, May 20, 2002:

And I think to myself.....what a wonderful world (gotta love Satchmo eh?)....ok here's the heezy fuhsheezy bout the weekend upeezy:
Good grief....REM sleep is so underrated, 119 on 18 holes, Birthday BBQ for that good ole boy DC out at Dcubed / peanuts in my sausage.....what's up with that? / FL showing much love for the C-sectioned rat.....dang near had a tear in my eye / beautiful prints from a talented local artist / way too much time spent on Lakers and Kings / NBA Live .....krabby be holding me down!!!, Dessert soiree for K & JY / lemon squares.....a fat kid's best friend / on a serious note: a nice night of testimony, encouragement, and fellowship / who's gonna prop me up to do the superman?, "About a boy"....see note below, Lots of reading and relaxing, Introspective sermon touching the surface of spiritual dicipline, dinner at Taiwan Point...eh...it was edible....you are always on my mind.....you are always on my mind....tell.....me.......

Went out to see the new Hugh Grant movie...."About a boy"....this past weekend. I'm not EVEN gonna talk about my buffalo wing experience, but I will share this.......Mel's Diner......it takes a whole lot of boo boos to keep me from going back to a dining establishment....enough said. Once again, I'm not going to divulge too much about the details of the film.....but it is definately a cleverly written script that is a must see and a sure fire bargain for the matinee pricing. Quirky English humor + innate male insensitivity/chauvinism x the lessons learned from metaphorical bumps and bruises in life = 5 thumbs up from this cheeky monkey... ( would have given 6, but the fact that we caught the 12:40 am showing brought the overall scoring down just a little bit). The most important thing that I learned from watching this movie? That Jon Bon Jovi.....grossly underrated as a thinker during the 20th century.

About a week ago I had a dream.....not along the lines of "I HAVE A DREAM!!!".....but insightful enough for me to not have been too surprised when the Houston Rockets won the NBA draft lottery this past weekend. Pure luck? I'm pretty sure of it.....but from Steve Francis coming to town all the way to sending 3 picks to NJ and getting Eddie Griffin.....I've been nothing but money when it comes down to feeling out the home team's draft picks the last 4 or 5 years. So the question on my mind is....are they going to take Yao Ming with the first pick this year? Survey says......HECK NO!!!! No combination of talent and potential is worth the international migraine ( and it will definately be a painful process ) that will develop in negotiating his contract and release from the Shanghai Sharks out of the CBA.....HiltonLeague/Chinese Basketball Association.....yes, I am a freak.

If you've been keeping score....the Chinese government is planning to: 1.) manipulate where Yao ends up by playing the "we will only release him to a team that we approve of" card, 2.) force the team that signs him to compensate the club by sending various players and coaches back to Shanghai in the offseason to run developmental clinics and camps, 3.) retain his rights to play on the national team for qualifications and tournaments ( he will miss significant time during the season ), 4.) oh yeah...and here's the kicker....take 1/2 of his gross income and divide it up amongst the club, national sports authority, and government.....including endorsements.....I'm not even going to get into the squabbles that the NBA player's union is going to have with the whole mess.

Historically speaking....the Chinese government has readliy done many "things" the rest of the world certainly frowns upon based upon the fact that they have the power to do so. My opinions ( which I won't get too deep into ) are surely biased having grown up here in the United States, but I do retain a sense of hope that perhaps this situation can be resolved rather easily and therefore open the lines for better communication and pave the way for more phenoms from the Middle Kingdom to come over, enjoy the steak and potatos ( ahem...creatine...), buy an Escalade or two, and ultimately dunk on Shaqfu's head. Kobe's too. Still....I don't think that the Rockets are dumb enough to waste a #1 pick on that dude.....perhaps the Warriors will take him off our hands for say.....the # 3 pick this year, two future first rounders, Adonal Foyle, and cash for Yao, Kelvin Cato, Eddie Griffin, and Calvin Murphy? What do you say Jabrone....do we have a deal?



LIB // 8:46 PM

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